Ordering a drink in a bar my apartment a thousand miles away sunlight slowly shuffling window squares across the silence of its white carpets frog sounds from the bathtub head in the refrigerator traveler's checks in my inside jacket pocket they look like blue money you have to sign them to make them real the guy on the barstool next to me lays a wristwatch down on the bar between our drinks says do you know what this is? I say it's a wristwatch he says no it's a knife I look down at the wristwatch on the bar counter glass dial sweeping second hand brass clasps holes in the black leather strap I say it's a wristwatch he looks like he's getting really really angry he says no it's a knife it's a knife it's not a wristwatch it's a knife I say do you mean metaphorically the bartender comes over big fat man wiping a transparent glass says get that pipe off my bar counter I told you already you can't smoke fucking plumbing supply salesmen all the same crack up on the road start defacing the bibles in their motel rooms with magic markers when it gets close to midnight what is it about plumbing that does that to a man I wish I knew.